A couple of weeks ago I ended up having a whole weekend to myself which is pretty unheard of these days as I often like to keep busy and have a pretty full diary. Now I could have chosen to make plans with friends or family but for once I thought I’d have a chilled weekend at home to rest and recharge my batteries after after a couple of hectic weeks. I also kinda felt like I needed to spend some time alone without always relying on being in the company of others.
So the weekend started by waking up on Saturday morning, treating myself to a more indulgent breakfast than usual and spending a couple of hours lazing around in bed catching up on my YouTube subscription box which was utter bliss and is probably my number one way to enjoy some time alone. I then got up and went for a run as I’m currently training for a half marathon so that was a nice way to blow away some cobwebs and get some fresh air. Then on getting back to a quiet house, I had a shower, popped on some comfy clothes and a bit of makeup but then BAM! That’s when I started to feel a little lost.
What exactly was I getting ready for if I didn’t have any plans? How was I going to spend the rest of the day? Was I going to make it through the night or was I just going to wither away right there and then from loneliness?!
Exaggeration? Maybe… but with a whole evening stretched out in front of me with no plans and no one to keep me company except my own thoughts I found myself feeling a little sad. This in turn lead me to wonder whether I’d started to depend on other people like my boyfriend too much and therefore forgotten how to spend time by myself?
After pondering on this thought for some time I realised that despite absolutely loving having a couple of hours to myself to really relax and recharge there’s definitely a time limit to it for me. An afternoon or an evening alone? I’d happily take but I do struggle to spend a longer period of time alone whilst remaining positive and content about it. I mean it only takes me checking in on my Instagram feed for the FOMO to set in (which you can read more about here) and have me feeling like a bit of a loner!
I think this feeling is something that’s emerged from always having lived with other people, whether that be when I was back at my family home to living at uni with a group of people to now living with Adam and my two housemates. I’ve never experienced living alone, being completely independent and totally in charge of your own time and space. I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing as living alone definitely doesn’t appeal to me but I do see how it could potentially provide you with the skills to spend more time alone and become completely comfortable with your own company.
So I guess the next time I find myself with some time to myself I now feel better equipped on how to handle it. Adding in a few plans here and there to keep me sain and avoid going stir crazy whilst also giving myself those couple of hours of chill time that I really crave would probably be the perfect solution!